The latest news from the Sally Swirl is that I am trying to find my way back home. Vonda Shepard sings it well for me. I have so many worries, as we all do. However, there are times when we measure against the world what is fair for one person to carry. I am searching my soul to find the right path back to a sense of being in control of my destiny and my checkbook; to find my way back home to my heart that everything is ok no matter what.
The years since my full time, salaried job with AMSI have been challenging, there is no other way to say it. Going without a structure and a regular income was exciting in my 30’s, now it is just not. However, I cannot change the choices of my past. I can only change the choices of the present that then create my future.
Ally McBeal was still on the air when I chose to go to work for AMSI. This video reminds me how much I enjoyed the kookie cast of characters on that show. Isn’t it funny how we can miss these fictional characters as if their presence in our lives were real people, real friends, real contributors to our life experience? I miss the cast of characters in the drama that was AMSI too. But I cannot turn back time, none of us can.
These attachments I have to who I have been, where I have gone, how I have felt, what I have done, can never change the why. I am why I am to make this world better. I am here to love and be loved. I am here to not just survive but to thrive on the truth that we are all here on Earth for the same reason, to love and be loved. Now, all I have to do is figure out how to pay my bills too.
I have returned to San Francisco to recreate myself again. No matter where I have traveled or lived or loved, this is where my heart is home. San Francisco is my center and from here I will find my next adventure. She is not the same either for her life continues forward too. Though my soul goes with me where ever I go, there is no doubt for me that my roots are wide and deep in this city by the Bay. No matter how we both evolve this soul center is real for me. And, for now, I will stay and find myself a new way to be free.
If you have any ideas, jobs you know, people for me to meet, friends or co-workers who need healing sessions, I am open to your referrals and your guidance. What I know from experience is that when I ask, is when the magic happens. I am asking you and the Universe to show me the way. I am listening then moving forward with the best compass we have, our own heart.