| My Fiscal Cliff ~ Facing My Fear with Love
|The Path of Freedom
Please do not read this unless you can:
A) have No judgement as I choose to strip myself bare
B) have No judgement of my drama story learning
C) have No judgement of yourself that your life story is different or compare our dramas
D) have the wisdom that we are all perfectly imperfect and that truth sets us free
On November 1, 2012 it was the 3rd anniversary of my emancipation from a salaried job. This time has flown by with amazing grace and tremendous grief. As my philosophy has been since starting my healing practice unchanged, I must continue to walk the integrity of my talk: As we heal ourselves, we heal the world! I would like your help to heal.
It is my desire that by this clear assessment and presentation of what is happening, I will unlock another level of my self love to flow. As I peel back the belief systems and layers of self reflection, the bottom line is always the same. There is a part of me that believes I am not deserving nor can I manage, money. And, I know that contrary to the life long patterns and multitudes of evidence to concur, I believe I can change.
Before my surgery in 1998, I was living self sufficient with no debt. I lived marginally without savings. Yet, I was able to travel and teach where ever the wind blew me. After my surgery, I had a lot of debt, and a lot of healing to do. I chose to work for my friends at their real estate company because of the emotional security, and fiscal benefits, they provided. It was an amazing time and I loved what I learned about my self and the world. However, I did not stock up for a rainy day, nor for the collapse of the real estate economy. Since 2009, I have not yet created a sustainable economy for myself.
Over time, I began to feel like I was ‘supposed to’ go without my own home. We clever humans have the capacity for justifying pretty much anything. Over and over, friends or clients said, “Sally, I cannot live like you do!” I felt pride in my ability to adapt, go without, be free from the responsibility of caring for stuff, and not be dependent on structure or consistency as my safety. Once my unemployment ended, I put on a happy face and just kept trying to make it change. It has, but not without surrendering to the humility and presence of this revelation.
There have been incredible blessings along the way too. Homes have been shared with me this entire time so I have never not had a place to sleep. My knowledge of social media went into orbit with such a desire to be heard, to be seen, to shout out to the world that I existed. My work when I get the privilege to do it, continues to bring peace and healing. Clients still call and ask for my help with their inner landscapes. Random walk-in traffic to Pilgrim’s Way is a blessing of magic every time I meet someone new. Everyday I am able to tell someone I love them.
With the “Law of Attraction” ringing always in my ears I feel I should know better, do better, be better. Should-ing on me is not loving me. Nor is it love to add guilt, shame, regret, anger, and the biggest voice of all FEAR to the chorus of self flagellation. So I breath. I say my mantras. I pray for help and guidance. And, now, I am bringing my prayers out of the etheric to share and reveal them to you.
Even with your referrals and with all of my marketing efforts my practice is an advocation not vocation. I have yet to find a company that is interested in my talent, my skills, nor my creative drive to serve. I keep believing that if I take action I am not a victim. Today, my intuition is the action I need to take is to tell the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth ~ I need to work.
My ‘home’ now in Monterey is only temporary as a house sitting gig. I know until March, where I am sleeping. I am actively pursuing part time or full time or temporary or contract work. If you have any leads for me in Northern California, I would appreciate the referrals. I am also finally writing a book about Brain Surgery and Courage. Any contacts in the publishing world would also be great referrals for me.
Life to me is an inside job. I manifest everyday gratitude and celebration for what is inside of me – the light of love – and what is outside of me – the beauty of my family, friends, and the world. I just want to pay my bills too. I am not talking about a lifestyle. I am talking about the essentials. Can you imagine me without a phone?
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There are testimonials to the power of my insight, wisdom, and creative solution finding online. Please consider giving yourself or someone you love a session with me. Please know that I would rather work for 100% of something than 100% of nothing. I ask that you consider purchasing as a gift for yourself or another the book Pocket Pictures: Accidental Art & Wisdom. Reflexion cards are also a great gift for your own insight through your own intuition. Hosting an Evening with Sally is also another simple way to share me with your Circle of Influence. With these simple acts I am asking you to help me, help myself. I am available to work for you or serve others in need.
So here I am, baring all of me, jumping off my fiscal cliff, soaring on my wings of grace. The winds of change will carry me on. Thank you for listening to my full monty disclosure. Times are changing and thank God, so am I. For I believe:
Vision with out action, means nothing.